Aren't We All Running?
by Quarried Times
Summary: Time just kind of seems to…pass when you have no real existence. AkuRoku.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Welcome. **

**Well I have a few things to say before you start reading. This is an AkuRoku. It's the story of how Axel finds Roxas and how Roxas ends up leaving the organization. I know that this isn't really what happened, I just made it up. See, this is what _should_ have happened, if only I owned the wonderful world of Disney and Square Enix. Sadly, I do not. But I'll make the best of what I have. **

**Rating: M for language and sexual content in later chapters.**

**Disclaimer: I thought I already said this in the other paragraph. Oh well. I do not own KH as much as I'd love to.  
**

**Anyways, enough of my ramblings, I do hope you enjoy this story. **

* * *

Roxas ran across the rainy streets, splashing in puddles big enough for his black boots to drown in. It never stopped raining here, did it? Constant downpours. It sickened him. And why did the sky have to be so damn dark all the time? Was it always this pitch black? What time did the sun usually rise? Not that it mattered – the sun would never come and the rain would never cease. He felt strange as he ran, not really knowing why he was running in the first place, not even knowing if he had a place to go. Why not just sit and rest for awhile? Why did he keep having to run? Of course, he knew this answer, it was blatantly obvious.

When one is completely lost there's nothing do to _but_ run.

Run until you've found some kind of escape, some kind of safe harbor so the pain of knowing you don't belong can fade away. Not that Roxas was even hoping for that, he couldn't possibly even dream of being in that kind of situation. Not when the world around him was crumbling and all he could do was stand by and _watch_.

Running was starting to get tiresome. Everywhere he turned he saw shadows – hauntings of past dreams and nightmares, stalking him mercilessly through the many dark alleyways and corners, never once leaving him be. Which of course was another reason to never stop. How could he let himself fall prey to these demons? These black wretched creatures that wouldn't stop until they got what the desired.

But as Roxas thought about it, how was he any different? He really couldn't be, right? Besides for the obvious fact that he was made of flesh and bone, that he had an actual face and arms and legs, besides that…there really wasn't a comparison. Roxas was and always would be, searching for something to make him whole, something to complete him. Though what that was, he had no clue. How could one know what they needed if they had no idea what was missing in the first place?

They couldn't. It was impossible. Through Roxas tried and tried, he tried harder than anyone should be able to. He fought and pushed himself, searched for _something_ – anything to fill this emptiness in his chest. But to no avail did his attempts get him. Still he tried to keep telling himself, tried to push himself even further, that someday he would fill this void, he could make things right. He could live.

Roxas knew he was only lying to himself when he said these sweet words. He'd never be whole and he knew that, he knew it so clearly. The tears that streamed down his face only added to the drops that had already graced themselves there by his constant running. He was glad at least that he had this coat, this safe barrier that covered him from most of the onslaught from the sky. Even though he was drenched, even though he was crying like he hadn't in ages, and even though he trembled in his boots, shivers racking themselves through his small, nimble body, he still did not stop running. Not until he slammed into something, something that was so hard that it made him loose all balance and fall backwards, landing on his butt. He hissed and screeched in pain, crying even more now that his backside was in such pain from the concrete.

How could he have been so stupid? Had he really just run into a wall? Not that it mattered, now at least, his feet had stopped and he could get some rest. Maybe catch his breath before he had to start up again. Just…close his eyes for a few moments and try to…forget…

"Get up," said a voice from above. And damn did it scare him. The wall…_talked_? Since when did walls actually speak? Had he finally lost it…?

"I said get up you idiot! You're going to die if you just stay there like that!"

Doesn't matter. The world would keep turning if he was gone. Everyone would go on with their lives like nothing had happened. No one would miss him, not a soul.

He heard a growl from above but he still didn't turn to look, all he felt was a warm something grasp his water soaked jacket. It was a hand, a hand with fingers but the fingers were gloved. So…now walls have arms and hands…and, and fingers too? Weird…that really didn't seem possible, but hey, who was he to judge his own sanity? He'd been seeing freaking shadows with huge yellow eyeballs stalk him for days on end. So what if the wall was suddenly helping him up off the ground?

"Kiddies shouldn't be playing out here, it's dangerous. Go home." The voice was rough and deliberate, ordering him something that he just knew he couldn't obey.

There was no home for Roxas to go back to, no home at all. What did it matter if he was all alone out here, listening to a wall that was warning him of eminent danger? It wasn't anything he couldn't handle; he'd dealt with much worse. So much…worse…

"Are you even listening to me? I said go home!" The wall yelled and suddenly shoved at Roxas, making him stumble backwards a bit and he almost fell back onto the cold wet ground. He kept himself steady through for fear of another bruise on his behind.

Well of course he was listening to the wall, it was the only one speaking so it's not like he could just not hear it talking. He just…had decided to ignore its requests and not talk back to it. What would that say about his demeanor? His…honor? His pride or dignity. Really, talking back to a wall was…a bit wacky and he was not about to stoop that low as to reply to its demands.

He heard a sudden sigh from above; the wall was obviously tired of his impudence. Well it was its own fault for speaking to Roxas in the first place, he didn't mean to run into it and he had been just fine there on the ground.

"Screw you kid, go ahead and die out here, see if I care," the wall practically growled, sending another chill to creep up the back of Roxas' already cold spine. He shivered once more before he collapsed back onto the ground, knees hitting the floor with the most force right after his hands. It hurt and he screamed. Screamed as loud as he could because he knew – no one could hear him and even if anyone did – No. One. Would. _Care_.

---------------

How long had he been lying there, motionless on the ground? Could have been days, or maybe just seconds. Time just kind of seems to…_pass_ when you have no real existence. Maybe if he was an actual being, a real_ person_, someone with feelings and wants and needs and…importance, maybe then he wouldn't be lying there on the floor helplessly, reminding himself to breathe in and out. He thought of just stopping many times, just cutting off the air, how hard could it be to suffocate one's self? Though he stopped himself of that action each time it clouded his mind. How cowardly that would be. How insecure and weak that would make him. He would ride this out, damnit. Ride it out until the very end, until there really _was_ nothing left. Then at least, he could say that he had tired.

With a grunt and a heavy chest, Roxas staggered to his feet, boots clacking on the pavement beneath him as he stood slightly slumped over from the weight on his shoulders. It seemed as if this weight was intent on bringing him back down, down to the ground again where he lay helpless and weak. But he wouldn't give in, not that easily. He couldn't help but almost laugh when he looked in front of him. Of course, there was no wall there, it was gone and had left him ages ago. Or was it only minutes? He didn't know and he didn't care. But the thought of the wall walking away from him, angry that he hadn't obeyed its commands, just gave Roxas the weirdest urge to giggle, and so he did. He cackled like a madman, standing in the pouring rain, eyes shooting to the black sky above him. His mouth hung open as he laughed maniacally and he just didn't want to stop. Laughing like this was maybe even better than screaming; at least it didn't make him feeling like a weakling. No, it made him feel _powerful_, mighty even. Maybe he could do this. Maybe he could fix this pitiful mess he called his life. Just maybe he could.

He stopped his sudden burst of laughing and then fixed his eyes on a shadow that had crept itself into the corner of his eye. He smirked evilly at it, showing his white teeth and his blazing blue eyes. Just what had given him this sudden burst of energy? This sudden need to…kill. It was heavy and weighing him down with every second that passed by. He had to…he had to_ murder_ that thing. Slice its head off and leave it writhing in the rain. He had to see it's blood splatter across the ground, see the life slowly drain out of the creature.

_He just had to. _

So without another thought he held out his hand right in front of his chest, focusing solely on killing the evil monsters that had hunted him down for so long and nothing more.

Suddenly a bust of light shone and he was standing there, but he was not alone, not anymore. He held a sword, and not just any sword – it was a Keyblade. Smirking at how easy it had been to summon this magnificent weapon, Roxas continued to hold out his other arm, concentrating once again. Before he knew it he wielded not one, but _two_ of these weapons. And damn did he feel powerful. Never before had he felt this much fire inside him, this much passion and inhibition. It felt so fucking _good_.

So without thinking he charged himself, Keyblades held high, ready to strike as he honed in on the black creature. And it wasn't long before black blood splattered onto his clothes and a laugh erupted out of his throat, echoing once again into the dead of the rainy night.

---------------

Running had turned into walking sometime along his trek. Every time he would think about running again his legs would remind him how tired they were. His stomach would scream how hungry it was. His eyes would lazily fold over, wishing for the sleep that he they so desperately needed. But Roxas was stubborn. Roxas wouldn't give in to the fatigue. Roxas was strong, damnit. He would live through this, just as he said, he would…_He would live_.

But his body needed rest and replenishment. His body needed a soft bed to sleep on and some warm food in its belly. His body was a traitor, that's what it was. For being so weak, for being so cruel to him. Why wouldn't it just keep pushing on as Roxas did? It just wasn't fair that he wanted to keep going but his stupid body slowed him down.

But he knew he couldn't keep going forever like this, he knew it.

So where was he to go?

There were many buildings around here, many places with lights on and voices coming from the insides, but how could he…how could he just waltz up to one and ask for a place to stay? They would yell at him, tell him to get away. Scream and yell and scream and yell and…

Roxas couldn't handle that, he just couldn't. Roxas wasn't that strong yet…he just wasn't that strong…

"You there."

Roxas flinched but didn't move. Was that person talking to him, or…?

"You with the hood."

He was wearing a hood yes and it seemed like no one else was around…

He turned to the voice, managing to stay slightly calm when he was faced with a hooded figure. His coat was long and black; unlike his own that was just a plain hoodie. The hood covered all of the strangers face completely so it was impossible to see who it was.

"Your name. What is it?" asked the man from behind the hood, obviously a male because of his voice. His head slightly arched when he spoke, the rain falling onto the little dip and sliding off to fall over his face like a roof.

Roxas blinked a few times under his own hood and answered, "Roxas." It felt weird to be talking again, after all this time of staying silent. His voice was strange and foreign, even to himself.

Roxas could have sworn he saw a smirk glint underneath the black hood of the man, but it was just too quick because soon he was being attacked by this man. His sword had appeared out of nowhere and his movements were quick and subtle, Roxas hadn't even seen him coming.

Roxas had to think, and quick. Soon his two Keyblades were present in his palms, shining even in the dreary darkness that surrounded them. Using his strangely acquired fighting skills, he slashed the blades and danced around his attacker, fury and fire burning in his veins. And for some reason, as Roxas fought this stranger who had some hidden reason for attacking him, he felt strong. He felt powerful just as he did before. If fighting like this was the only thing he was good at, then at least that was something and at least it made him feel brave.

Roxas dodged the long blade of the man and rolled onto his back only to shoot himself back up again and slash the lighter of his blades through the air where the man had once been. This was a challenge, even for Roxas. The guy was just so damn quick he could barely keep his eyes on him for more than a few seconds. But he dealt with that, swishing both his metal blades, making contact a few choice times. Metal on metal clanged through the night air, ringing so loudly that it even overpowered the rain. Roxas grinned when he felt his blade connect with a body for the third time, but this time it had sent the attacker flying to the ground. Roxas quickly stood above the man, finally seeing who was behind the hood. Long silver locks fell into the man's face, but it didn't matter because bound over his eyes was a long strip of cloth, sealing him from even seeing anything. How stupid he was, fighting without even looking. Without even _seeing_! It was ridiculous and Roxas was just that much better than him.

"Why…" The man on the ground started, his voice shaky and spent. Roxas regarded him, his grin faded completely as he listen to him yell, "Why do you have the keyblade?"

Roxas ground his teeth together and hissed loudly, feeling just so pissed off at that remark. He didn't know…he…he didn't _know_! "Shut up!" he threw back. He was suddenly just so mad, so _mad_…He raised one key and lowered it with all his might, feeling it connect with a body once again. And again he felt the blood soak his coat and he threw his head to the sky and laughed. He laughed at the scream that had erupted from his attacker, his laughed at how powerful he felt, and he laughed because damnit, _he just didn't know._

---------------

Roxas found himself then, curled up on a doorstep, panting for breath from running so hard and so fast. Again he was hungry and just so tired…Maybe he could fall asleep here; it wasn't really seeming to rain as much here as it did here than back in the city and the _ground_…since when had the floor felt so comfortable?

His treacherous eyes flitted to a close, settling him in darkness that was far beyond any on the outside world. This darkness seemed for comfort him, told him it was going to be okay. It soothed him and almost tricked him into believing that maybe…everything would be fine. Maybe this was all just a nightmare of some sort. It told him to sleep, it told him to forget. Told him to leave all his troubles behind…and so, that's what he did.

It wasn't long before a hard and stiff boot turned him over onto his back. The rain fell into his face now as he tried to figure out if it was just a dream or reality. The rain was still there and it was still cold, so perhaps it wasn't a dream. Unless it was some kind of nightmare.

"It's…it's you again. How in the hell did you live?"

Roxas couldn't answer this. He didn't know. He didn't even feel alive so maybe he was dead, finally.

He heard a sigh and shivered when a warm hand was placed on his cheek. That hand…oh god it felt amazing. If anything could have been more comforting than he had never felt it until now. How in the world could skin be so soft and affectionate?

"Damn, you're cold as fuck."

Was he? Roxas couldn't feel anything besides the heat coming from the palm on his face.

"You're all fucked up, kid."

Roxas was guessing the man was either talking about his bloody rain soaked jacket or the fact that he was sleeping on a doorstep. Either one could be described as fucked up, though Roxas already knew that he was.

The person sighed heavier this time above him and then suddenly, his whole body was engulfed in the warmth he had felt from the fingers on his face. Roxas thought that maybe he had finally died, maybe this was the afterlife. Maybe Roxas had been saved finally from his horrible endeavor.

He was heaved up into the stranger's arms as if he weighed nothing at all. "Might as well bring you in. What's your name, kid?"

Roxas didn't answer. He tried but failed. The only thing he could do was keep his eyes closed and clutch to the leather coat this warm and comforting stranger wore. No…he wasn't a stranger, he was his _savior_.

--------------

"You will be his mentor then, Axel."

Axel bit his lip almost nervously but nodded in response.

The Superior tapped one long finger on his large chair, his blue haired henchman standing right beside him, as always. That guy just never seemed to leave the Superior's side.

"This boy…" the Superior began, features focused and stern, "we do believe he could be the one."

Axel drew in a breath to speak but was cut off by Saix. "We haven't yet made certain, but the boy does resemble the chosen one."

Axel let his mouth close, green orbs shifting slowly around the room. Sure the kid's eyes were the same and he was around the same height and age, but did that really mean…?

"We put him in your care. That means you must watch him at all times. Never let him out of your sight and if you do, you will be severely punished." The Superior's voice echoed through the large white room. Axel only nodded again. Who was he to oppose the higher ups anyway? He was only number 8.

Besides…the kid kind of did spark something in Axel.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two. Hope you enjoy. **

* * *

"Hellooo? Roxas?"

Roxas blinked a few times, registering that someone had said his name. Where was he anyway? Oh yea…that's right…

"Welcome back." The redhead smirked and showed off large K-9s, giving him his wolfish grin.

Yeah, welcome back...Back to life. Back to this cold, worthless nothing he called life. How was this any better than being on the streets? It wasn't. Roxas would have given anything to be out there again. He let his head fall onto the table, never minding the loud 'thud' it made and how it echoed off the walls of the room. He was so tired all of a sudden…why had he agreed to come here with Axel again…?

"You said you needed some air so I took you to the most air-conditioned place in the castle."

Roxas scowled and brought his arms up and onto the table so he could place his chin on one. "I wanted to go _outside_."

Axel nodded and chewed on the side of his lip, trying to look sentimental but failing horribly at it. "You know the rules, the Superior would flip."

At this Roxas scowled more. Stupid Superior. What made him so strong, huh? All he did was stand around and give orders to everyone. "The Superior can kiss my ass."

Axel burst into laughter but frowned at the last second, becoming serious again. "No, actually, only _I_ can do that. Besides, there's really no point in defying him. We'll leave once we—"

"Are you seriously that dense?" Roxas accused him, picking his head up to fully glare into Axel's bright green eyes. "Do you really think this will work? Do you truly believe that being here, following him like this – you think that will get us what we want?" Of course Roxas didn't believe it. It was all just a sham in his book. Nothing had happened in months and nothing ever _would_ happen. Stupid Superior just liked ordering them around. That was all. He loved the damn power. He thrived on it. But Roxas wasn't stupid. He didn't want to play his little games anymore.

"Roxas, you…," Axel started but was interrupted by the door opening on the other side of the white room. Both heads turned towards it as none other than Demyx floundered into the room, completely hyper and totally uninvited. As always.

"Guys! There you are!" The musician ran over to the two, happily bouncing on his way to the table. "Superior says there's a meeting today in the main hall at three and Xigbar told me to tell everyone."

Roxas wished away the man. Why did he have to come in the worst situations? Constantly a bother, really he saw no reason that this water loving, sitar playing idiot was even part of the Organization. It confused him to no ends.

Axel let out a small sigh but smiled at Demyx anyways, sometimes Roxas hated Demyx for just that. He could make Axel smile by just being in the same room as him. Roxas really hated The Melodious Nocturne.

"Thanks Dem, we'll be there," Axel promised for both of them, leaning back in his chair to gaze at the bouncing blonde.

Demyx grinned stupidly and gave them both a two finger salute before saying, "Okay well I have to go tell the underground guys. You two want to hang out later?"

Roxas quickly shook his head but Axel nodded his. Damn Demyx for being Axel's friend. "Yeah sure. We're always bored. Let's all go swimming in the pool tonight."

At this Demyx practically squealed. "Yeah! I'll invite Zexion and Xigbar too! And…and…" He thought for a moment, his finger placed on his chin in an odd way. Thinking of no one else he could possibly invite he ended with a small smile, "Well that's good enough. Maybe Larxene could come to if she isn't too busy."

Oh great, so now that they had the emo kid and the pirate they also had to have the castle's bitch. Roxas was pretty sure he would skip out on this little event.

"Sounds good. Meet around 8ish, kay?" Axel smirked and Demyx nodded.

"Sure thing, Ax! I gotta go or the Superior will eat me alive! See you guys!" And with that annoying comment he was gone.

Thank God.

Of course now they couldn't even hope to continue their former conversation, what with that beautiful intrusion. Roxas slumped his head back onto the table and closed his eyes with a huge sigh, his former scowl still in place, causing wrinkles to form on his forehead. He was so tired and so full of energy at the same time. It was positively infuriating.

"Are you manstraiting or something? Seriously, you've been pissy all week."

Roxas glowered at the redhead, being sure to narrow his eyes to the fullest extent. "I'm fed up with all this shit. I want to get out of here and if I don't soon, I'm pretty sure I'll go insane."

"No you won't. You'll be just fine," Axel replied like it was no big deal, waving his hand in the air as if to sweep away all his problems.

Axel could be so stupid sometimes.

"I don't know how you stand this, staying here all day long, cooped up like some kind of animal, waiting for Xemnas to give us missions so that we can at least feel the air once and awhile. But even on those missions all we do is work work work, and then once we get back, it's back to confinement. I hate this, Axel. _I want out_."

Axel didn't know what to make of Roxas' little speech. Sure Roxas has seemed on edge for the whole week, but he was pretty on edge for the whole time he was in the castle. Maybe this really wasn't for the boy; maybe he just couldn't handle the pressure and the stress. Axel felt for him, he really did. But…what could he do?

"Roxas, you're a Nobody. Where do you expect to go? What do you hope to accomplish by just setting off by yourself out into the world? It's suicide, kid; I can't let you do that."

Roxas made an annoyed sound when he gritted his teeth together. Axel just didn't understand at all. "I thought that maybe you would come with me, you_ idiot_. We could make it on our own, I know we could. If were together then maybe we…maybe we could…"

Axel saw the confusion in Roxas' eyes, felt the pain in his words but didn't quite understand what he was saying. Leaving the organization to…do what, exactly? What would two Nobodies do out in the real world? They didn't belong there, Roxas seriously needed to understand that.

"You're talking crazy. We are Nobodies, Roxas. _No_bodies. We don't belong in the real world, we wouldn't survive, we—"

"How can you say that?" Roxas hissed through his teeth. He couldn't believe Axel…saying all those things, saying such mean and awful things… "You're acting like we're useless on our own. Like we are just puppets to be played with. Well you know what…" He lowered his voice before exploding, standing up to grip the table between his fingertips. "I'm not useless and I'm not weak! I'm not some damn _toy_ to be played around with, I…I…" Roxas glanced once back at Axel before glaring full force at him, making sure to coat his words with extra feeling, "I will not be played."

Axel watched as Roxas stormed out of the room, black cloak fluttering out behind him like his shadow did. He cringed when the door was shut and he was left alone in the cold empty room, thoughts clouding his mind that he thought might never go away.

---------------

Roxas threw open the door to his room, grabbing a bag he scampered over to his dresser to pull out some clothes. Damn this stupid Organization for not having any other attire than black. He regretfully shoved some black pants and a black shirt into the bag then put anything else he could think of into it. His pendant necklace, his hair brush, tooth brush and a few other choice items. He didn't really care much about taking things with him; he just thought that it was something he had to do before leaving. Couldn't really leave empty handed, right?

He flinched when he heard the door to his room open but didn't turn to see who it was. He just kept flitting around his room, shoving items into the case. It wasn't until he felt a warm hand on his neck did he stop his movements. That stupid hand. Stupid stupid Axel was here. Why had he followed him? Why…?

"Roxas…where do you plan on going?"

"Anywhere but here," he replied tersely, still frozen in Axel's grasp. He wished he could move so badly, but that didn't seem very likely when Axel's hands slipped even further down his shoulder, resting on his collar bone.

Soft lips came to brush at the shell of his ear, making a shiver travel its way down his spine. "I'll do anything to stop you, you know."

Roxas wanted to scoff at his remark but he just couldn't. When Axel did this…he was completely powerless. It made him feel so damn weak, he hated it. "Get off. Now," he managed to spit out, hands still clutching his bag full of items.

Axel's warm, sticky tongue slipped out of his mouth and descended onto Roxas' ear, licking its way around his jaw line then back up again. "Silly…I'm not leaving you. I'll fuck you so hard you won't be able to _walk_ afterward. Can't leave then." As he said this his hands began to work their way across Roxas' chest, lithe fingers fiddling with the zipper of the blonde's long black coat.

_Damn_ Axel. Why did he care so much? Why did it matter to him if Roxas just suddenly up and left? Axel had no heart. Axel couldn't feel. And neither could Roxas.

"Stop…nnng…stop lying to yourself, Axel," Roxas panted and huffed, feeling now as the redhead's fingers probed themselves into his jacket, massaging one erect nipple.

Axel stopped his movements for a moment, making Roxas scowl before starting up again. He bit down hard onto Roxas' ear, causing the blonde to squirm in his grasp. Roxas knew what was coming next; it was always the same with Axel. A little foreplay here and there, then bam. Roxas was pushed onto the bed, head slamming itself into the backboard. He saw stars and fireworks for a few moments and then only saw Axel, crawling his way on top of the shivering blonde.

"When will you learn…?" Axel's fingers quickly latched themselves onto Roxas' zipper, tugging down so that the boy's chest was exposed. "That this is _real_?" Axel finished by zipping the coat all the way down, revealing the tight black jeans that the blonde wore beneath his coat. Roxas was stupid but he really did look amazing just lying there beneath Axel like that. Stupid little boy.

Roxas didn't budge but he smirked at Axel's comment. "You…don't have a heart. This isn't as real as you think it to be." Axel didn't know anything. He didn't get it. He didn't understand that Nobodies couldn't feel like normal humans do. Nobodies can't have relationships. They can't love. They can't hate. They can only _exist without existing_.

Axel didn't smile, nor did he laugh. He frowned actually. Roxas was right about that, but he was wrong about one thing. "You…you little idiot. _You_ make me feel like I have a heart. Isn't that good enough for you?"

Roxas looked away from the green gaze and let his own eyes wander the room. "That can't…that can't be true," he said finally, resting his orbs on the redheaded man above him.

Axel just frowned more but leaned in to plant a bruising kiss onto the blonde's lips. Roxas didn't respond. He wasn't that horny yet and he wasn't giving up without a fight. "Then let me…show you how _true_ it _really_ is," Axel quietly whispered into his ear. He quickly pushed Roxas' cloak off, revealing soft tanned skin to his hungry eyes. This was how he loved to see Roxas – naked and on a bed beneath him. It made his cheeks flush and his heart race. If only he had one.

Roxas let his gaze fall away from the attacker above him for a few moments, letting the man strip him of his pants and boxers in less than seconds. It wasn't long before Axel had grasped his erection in his hands, rubbing it softly then roughly as the moment passed. Roxas found he was gripping the bed sheets, forcing himself to lie still and not make too much noise. When Axel did these things to him…he was really ruthless. He didn't calm down even when Roxas asked. It was weird because Roxas didn't understand what made Axel so excited in the first place. It's not like he could love him with his heart.

Axel quickly latched onto Roxas' chin, jerking it forward, forcing the blonde to make eye contact with him. It was hard to do this when Roxas was being so distant. Hard to show the blonde what he meant to him when Roxas didn't even pay any attention to him or respond to his actions. Roxas' faded blue eyes hazed over when he made a small moaning sound which fueled Axel further. He went harder and faster on the boy's soft cock, running his fingers along the sides, up and down then up again. Roxas was panting by now, his mouth hung open, spit dripping down the side of his cheek. Axel took advantage of his opened mouth then to plant a long sweet kiss on the sweating boy. His tongue slipped in quickly and he didn't stop when Roxas made a gagging noise in the back of his throat. He didn't care how far he stuck his tongue in, Roxas loved this, Axel just knew it.

While the two battled each other with soft but rough kisses, Axel's hand quickly slipped away from Roxas to trail along the inside of his smooth thighs. This made Roxas shiver and gasp, throwing his arms around the redhead's neck to kiss him even better. It was weird when Axel did these kinds of things to him, he felt as if he should be enjoying it. Like he should love the way Axel's fingers ran themselves along his skin. But there was just something inside him that held him back from fully enjoying the sensation. Something he just didn't understand. And he hated that it was there. Why couldn't things just be perfect for once in his life?

Axel didn't stop when his fingers rested on the blonde's back opening. He pushed one in, receiving a beautiful noise from the boy beneath him. It was so erotic, so pure and cute. He had to have more.

Another finger was inserted and Roxas thought he was seeing stars again. It must have been from not breathing. He quickly broke their kiss and collapsed back onto the sheets, chest moving quickly up and down in fast rhythms. He bit his lip when Axel shifted his fingers, scissoring and probing. It hurt, damnit. It hurt – bad, but it felt so good…

Axel moved quickly, even though he loved savoring these moments when Roxas would whine and cry beneath him, he quickly unzipped his own coat and his pants followed it. When he was back on top of Roxas his own erection was just inches from the opening he had previously stretched. Axel leaned down to plant a small kiss on Roxas' neck, sucking and biting hard before leaning back up again.

Roxas look up at him, eyes glazed over, mouth drenched in saliva. God it was hot and God did Axel want him to never be out of his sight ever again. He wished that Roxas would look like this all the time. That Axel could forever have Roxas to himself. Roxas wasn't going to leave him, he couldn't leave the Organization, Axel would not allow it.

"Roxas…I…this is going to hurt pretty badly since I'm not using any lube…" He felt bad for it but Roxas just laughed sardonically beneath him.

"That's what you want, isn't it? You want me to…be….be immobile so that…I-I won'tt be able to leave…" Roxas' voice wavered, his eyes closing slowly.

"You idiot…" Axel sighed and grabbed one of Roxas' wrists in his hand, gripping firmly he pinned it down against the bed. He took the other one in his other hand and did the same, all the while Roxas was still laughing like a crazy person beneath him. Axel didn't know what to make of it, but his own sex drive wouldn't wait any longer. He slowly nudged Roxas' opening, adding pressure quickly and making the boy squirm and yell beneath him, laughing in-between those screams. It would have been so much more arousing if he wasn't doing this for the sole purpose of hurting the blonde. Axel didn't want to hurt him…he loved Roxas. At least…he thought he did.

Roxas laughed and laughed again, screeching in pain as Axel's cock forced its way in to him, not sliding but…_pushing_. God…it already felt like he was bleeding down there. He probably was it hurt so bad. But Roxas didn't stop his laughter, he just couldn't. It was all so ironic, so to speak. Axel harming him in this way just so that he wouldn't leave the Organization. Axel was selfish, so damn selfish it made Roxas sick with fury. He didn't give one damn about Roxas himself, no, Axel was just too caught up in what he called _love_ to even realized that Roxas was suffering because of him. Roxas hated it here. Roxas was suffocating in this goddamn castle. And it was all Axel's fault. Axel had brought him here in the first place…

Axel didn't feel aroused anymore as he looked down at Roxas' now tear streaked face. The blonde's eyes overflowed the tears of pain as he laughed and cried at the same time. Roxas' tiny wrists were wiggling and fighting in his grasp, but Axel held them strong, he closed his eyes as he pushed his way further into his best friend. Axel kept thinking this was for the best, that Roxas would realize after this that he had been wrong and that he should have never even thought of leaving him. But he knew that was wrong. Roxas wouldn't just go along with this for much longer. Roxas was a stubborn ass. A stupidly stubborn teenager that couldn't be held back. Roxas had wings, perhaps he just needed some room to spread them.

Roxas moaned and groaned in what he thought was pleasure or maybe just agony. He couldn't even tell himself, it was all too much to take. Stupid fucking Axel. Why did he have to do this? Why? "Why…why…" Roxas found himself chanting the word, while shaking his head back and forth to rid himself of the pounding in his skull. It was almost as worse as what he felt down _there_, but he couldn't tell. He tried to drown out the throbbing pain that erupted in his lower section. God why couldn't Axel pull out yet? Hadn't he done enough damage?

Axel winced at the pained look on the boy's face but he couldn't stop his hips from slamming into the body beneath him. Roxas squirmed and flailed, screaming and yelling even louder now, tears flowing, wetting his face. "Roxas…Roxas! Just –"

"Why! WHY, Axel!? G-get outt of m-me…I…Ahhh!" Roxas' body arched and he came suddenly but he hardly gave it any mind. His body went limp and his nerves failed to respond. Everything just went…blank.

Roxas couldn't leave now. At least, not anytime soon.


End file.
